I Love You, Evans
by am-i-right-or-am-i-write
Summary: Library confessions. L/J


**I AM BAAACK.**

 **I bet none of you missed me.**

 **This is just something I wrote at 2 in the morning. I haven't edited it or read through twice, so if there are mistakes and whatnot, please ignore them.**

 **Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter.**

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"Potter."

James felt the familiar thrill rush up his spine every time he heard her voice say his name.

"My love!" He exclaimed, turning to face her with open arms that she quickly pushed down. Lily Evans rolled her eyes and threw some papers on top of the desk near which James sat.

"I'd rather not be your love. These are the schedules for Head duties for the upcoming week."

James fingered the papers absent mindedly, his mind focused on how Lily's hair shone bright orange whenever the sunlight from the mosaic windows of the library hit it. He longed to reach out and run his fingers through them, push them behind her ear. He knew, though, that by doing so he would crush any signs of friendship Lily had been showing him over the past year.

"Are you listening, Potter?"

"Hm?" James broke out of his daze, and locked eyes with Lily, "What were you saying, flower?"

Lily scrunched up her nose, sitting down next to James on the bench with a plop.

"I don't know whether I'm okay with all these cutesy names you've been calling me lately."

"Flower is a nice name to call someone."

"Sure," Another eye roll. She took a deep breath, visibly nervous and said, "Anyway, I was saying. You know Hilda Higgins from Astronomy, don't you?"

James gave her a blank look, "No? I didn't even know there was a Hilda Higgins in Astronomy. What about her?"

"How could you not notice her? She breaks something every two minutes." Lily snorted, in a most unfeminine way, and noticed it soon afterward, causing a blush to blossom on her face. James, however, thought both the snort and the blush were endearing.

"Well, unfortunately for her, I spend all of my time focusing on you, which naturally makes it difficult to notice anything else."

James noted that her blush grew deeper.

Lily ignored his last statement, "She's told me to tell you, that she thinks your lips are most attractive, and that she'd like to snog them senseless one day."

A moment of silence fell upon the two. Lily shrugged, fingers fumbling with the hem of her shirt, "Her words, not mine."

James couldn't help but laugh. He had never noticed anyone called Hilda before, nevertheless known that she'd like to snog his 'attractive' lips senseless.

"Smart girl, I must say. Good taste." He winked.

Lily made a vomiting sound, "Ew. Are you gonna ask her out, then?" She looked away as she spoke, focusing on James's quill, fingering the tips of the feather.

"Maybe," He said slowly, watching her to see her reaction, "I haven't gone on a date in a long time."

She stilled, jaw clenching, "Yeah, yeah of course. Yeah. Hilda is very pretty too. Very nice - nice hair and everything."

"Yes, figure too. To die for."

"Right. She totally suits you. She even likes quidditch. You love quidditch. Meant for each other."

James felt a smile tugging at his lips. He slipped a finger under Lily's chin, turned her face towards his, and said, "Do I sense jealousy?"

Her shining green eyes widened, and she shook her head wildly, "No! No, what? Of course not. Of her, hah! No way!" Lily shook his hand off, and made to get up just as James caught her wrist and pulled her back down.

"Lily," he said softly, "Sure, Hilda is pretty, but - Merlin, Lily, I can't even _look_ at another girl anymore."

Lily furrowed her brows, "What?"

"I mean, they don't interest me at all. I hold hands with another girl and all I can do is wish that she was you. I kiss another girl and all I can imagine is that I'm kissing you. None of them are good enough for me anymore, because you've shown up in my life and set incredibly high standards that no one else can reach. All day, every day, you're all I can think about. It's you, always you. So you're probably the last person who should be feeling jealous right now."

James stopped to take a deep breath. Lily had gone quiet, her mouth gaping open.

"I…" She dropped her gaze down, "Potter, I don't know what to say."

He sighed, running his fingers through his unkempt hair, "Don't say anything then. It'll be better than being rejected for the 314th time."

"You kept count." Her whisper came out more of a statement than a question, and James nodded to confirm. A few minutes passed, a thick silence over the two of them, filled with breathing and James's quill tapping on the desktop.

"James."

Her voice was so soft he almost thought he was hearing things, but as James looked at her face, at the deep blush and the nervous fingers fiddling with her hair, he knew it came from Lily.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

James sighed again, this time a bit shaky, "Yeah, I know. It's okay. You don't have to say it," He ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head, trying to avoid the rejection, "I get it. Arrogant toe rag, I know."

"What?" Lily frowned, "No, no, no. James, I'm sorry for being a bitch to you. All these years. I shouldn't have been so rude to you, but - but I always thought it was just because you liked the chase. You - you liked the idea of having someone so hard to get, so even if I said yes, you'd just get bored of me after a few days and leave. All this time, I've been scared that you might hurt me, so I didn't want to care so much. Do you understand?"

James gaped at her, "Merlin's soggy swimming trunks."

Lily laughed nervously, wringing her hands, "I know I sound crazy but-"

"Lily," He cut her off, pulling her face closer to his, trying to ignore the blood pumping in his ears, "Lily, my love, my flower, my world - I could never, _ever_ , get bored of you. Even if I tried, and trust me, I have. I can't move on from you. I've been chasing after you for so long because I genuinely like you, not because this is some game and you're my prize."

She had grown closer to him while he spoke, her hands gripping his shirt as if to steady herself.

"I want you, Lily. Not just for sex or a make out session -although that would be nice too, just saying-" He winked at her, earning a giggle, "I want you, because I want to be with you, I want to be able to hold your hand, count the freckles on your nose, play with your gorgeous hair, and listen to you talk for hours on end about anything in the world, because Merlin knows I'd listen to your every word. I want to know all your secrets and your fears and the things that make you happy. Fuck, I want to be one of the things that make you happy. I want to make you smile and laugh and I want to kiss you and fall asleep with you by my side. I want to grow old with you. I love you, Lily Evans, I love you so much that it _hurts._ "

James swept away a tear that had fallen from her eye, panicking inwardly because _shit,_ he made her cry, but then Lily laughed, the sound so welcoming and warm that James nearly melted.

"Oh, James," She rested her forehead against his, "when it comes to emotional speeches, you sure know how to deliver."

He grinned, tucking a lock of red hair behind her ear, "You know I'd never hurt you, right?"

"Yeah, I do." Lily bit her lip, her fingers playing with the hair on James' neck, "James?"

"Yes, flower?"

"Will you go to Hogsmeade with me?"

James pulled away, shocked, gazing into her eyes to search for any signs of dishonesty, "Like - like friends?"

"Well," Her nose nudged his, "I was thinking more like a date, but if you want-"

"NO! No! Date it is!"

Lily giggled. James didn't know who leaned in first, but a split second later, their lips were melting against each other.

Her hands travelled up to his hair, pulling at him to bring him in closer. His slid around her waist, bringing her flush against his chest, deepening the kiss even more. In that moment, all the fireworks in Zonko's seemed to be erupting inside him, his stomach doing double somersaults.

Lily Evans was kissing him. He was kissing Lily Evans.

 _Lily._ His Lily.

Wait till he tells Padfoot about this.

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 **God bless #jily.**

 **If you're gonna read, you might as well review. It's a nice thing to do.**


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